living in wonderlandd ``

2011-02-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

i really try my best to be positive. but my energy is daring faster than I can recharge. just read my post below, I was excited, positive about this job. but what now? I really don't know. it's not exactly helping when im tired, sick, feverish, piled with work, stuck with issues that are beyond me. I can change processes if it merely affects me. but sometimes it's the mental burden of how the words I say, the things I do directly affect my colleagues.

maybe I bother too much. so what if I'm piled with work? so what if I'm gonna get scolded? why should I care? I did my best anyway. but best just doesn't seem to suffice.

I need to continue to be positive. I want to like working so I will be happy. more and more leave, and I really start to doubt. maybe we just haven't found the value within.

2010-04-26T13:28:00.005+08:00

i am super excited about my new job! its offering me fewer working hours (in fact probably finally a fixed office job) and higher pay! no more long, unpredictable working hours with never ending work to be done. the most kwa zhang evidence that im overworked was that i was chatting with my baby on saturday when i kinda dozed off, and starting telling him MY TRADE CREDITORS CANNOT TIE. haha. exactly the issue i was working on for the past 2 weeks, cos my creditors dont tie to holding company figures!

i have been working so hard, that i couldnt help but go for shopping therapy with my bong on saturday night! yes, it was AFTER i ended work at 7pm. -.-

i am so superrr ADORE the new uKimono Mini that i bought over the weekend.

since i already secured myself a new job at the Accountant-General Department, meaning im free from the evil clutches of EY, i decided to get the RED uKimoni Mini! it may not be useful, but its SUPER pretty!

2010-04-22T15:34:00.001+08:00

:) i have good news! i found a new job, and im retiring from audit and saying bye to the hectic hours! :) it was amazing how things were so smooth sailing! :)i ought to thank my baby for helping me to look out for jobs when i was undergoing the darkest and most draining period of my life.

its in time like this, that i really get to see how evil and disgusting some people can be.

i joined EY on 28 Sep 09 and was due for confirmation 6 months later, on 28 Mar 2010. My confirmation letter was processed, but it never reached me, as the unimportant letter was sitting in the in-tray of my busy counselor.

Yesterday, i submitted my resignation letter, with 2 weeks notice to the company. Unfortunately, my letter was REJECTED. the basis of rejection: you were already confirmed on your position with effect from 28 Mar 2010, when the letter was processed by the HR.

My instinctive reaction: I was not given the confirmation letter, i was NOT INFORMED of my confirmation, i am therefore still entitled to my two weeks notice.

But the company refused, and told me, i was to serve a month's notice, with no exceptions.

THE MISTAKE LIES WITH EY. THE MANAGER IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT EY IN INFORMING ME.

Not being informed, i have the right to insist to go in two weeks. i can report EY to MOM. but i wont. why? because i dont wanna make enemies before i leave. but tell me, is their insistence of me serving a month's notice fair?

and i was even told, we can try to push for early release from 1 month's notice, on the basis that you have personal reasons. HELLO. early release? it is my ENTITLEMENT.

what a world class, professional and reputable firm. playing such underhand tricks. in my personal opinion, the company is making use of their strong foothold in the society to back them up in continually showing such inappropriate conduct.

thinking back, i must have been crazy to think EY was a rather good firm.

2009-09-14T15:28:00.000+08:00

:) sat was hall 8's dnd, night of villians. have to say that its the night where most people really dressed up drastically for the theme :) quite interesting. there were terrorists, kungfu masters, pirates, witches, cleopatria, medusa, etcetc :D interesting eh? :)

this year is probably the last time we're going back as seniors and i guess it will be the last time we probably will be meeting up with many other people we saw that night :) it may just be me, but i feel that during mass gathering event like that, i tend to feel rather nostalgic. i think about what happened throughout the days we stayed in hall. all the fun times. and then think about how long it has been since even me ching sally sy met up tgt. it just shows its gonna get more and more difficult. and thats just the way life goes. where people get more busy with every new stage of life, and old friends tend to find it harder to meetup.

took many photos that night, yet i missed out taking photos with some people that i actually wanted to! haha. but it was still nice to meet up with everyone :)

bong & me :)

lao lao lao pageant people :D

2009-09-10T12:57:00.000+08:00

my right eye is enjoying perfect vision now :) its so magical! regardless of what the nurses say about me not being able to be functional with one eye at 900 deg and the other at perfect eyesight, i have been doing very well, no problems at all. maybe its only for people like me, with such high myopia, that really appreciate the change so much that nothing else matters :) went for my third post lasik checkup and my right eye sees two rows below perfect!

yesterday, my baby and i went for dinner at ma maison. very delicious food, a little pricey but still, it was so yummy :) baby had smoked fish while i had garlic bread & soup :) and baby ordered baked potatoes with mayo and prawns cos i wanted to eat potato! :)

so sweet, and guess what, baby surprised me with a bouquet of flowers :) it may sound so silly to everyone, but it meant so much to me. cos my baby said that on 09/09/09, giving me 09 roses is a very good omen! :) hee. so sweet.

thank you baby, and i still lost my temper. i am sorry :( but i still love our day yesterday! :) *muacks*

2009-09-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

the mom has just launched her PRE LASIK EXTREME PARANOIA SYNDROME.

mom: what do you need to prepare for tomorrow?
me: got things to prepare meh?
mom: errrr. they gave you a whole stack of notes to read. didnt you read?
me: yarrr. its all info on the operation la. wad is there to prepare????
mom: breakfast?
me: oh. i dont wanna eat, why must i eat, later i scared den i puke how.
mom: (screams) you always dont like to take care oYOU ALWAYS DONT LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH. THIS IS SUCH A BIG THING AND YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO EAT? DIDNT YOU READ THE BOOKLET? THEY SAID YOU NEED BREAKFAST IF NOT YOU CANT DO.

so being dam irritated, i took out the instruction paper from my wallet.

me: it reads that you CAN and MAY have breakfast if you WISH to. and i DONT wish to.
mom: i called them, they said you must. if you never read properly, dont blame others. they know better than you.
me: den tell them they printed wrongly. ask them to stop giving others wrong info.

dont always focus on so small insignificant things. what about the fact tt if i dont fixate my eye, i'd get half blind? or the fact that my allergy resurfaced again? or that i may have rubbed my eyes such that the cornea shaping is affected? or the fact that i cant suit soft lense and have to go around depending on one eye which will deteriote its myopia?

wake up your idea. i have more important things to be worried about. than breakfast.

2009-08-28T11:17:00.005+08:00

I AM GOING FOR LASIK! :D

haha. can you believe it? i cant believe it :) was a very last minute decision, considering how bad my eye allergy always becomes with contacts, considering the lifetime reliance i would have on the eyedrops whcih cost $25 monthsly, i decided to enquire about lasik two weeks ago. :) was asked to stay off my contacts for 2 weeks which was totally torturing. dont even remind me how ugly i look with my specs on. zzzzzzzz.

but it all paid off! :) i went for the suitability check yesterday and everything was good :) im suitable! so happy that i dont know how to explain it! :D although yesterday's tests and eyedrops made me lao hao yan now, i still am super happy that it doesnt seem to affect me :D haha. erm. ya, i cant see anything closer than 30cm because its all blurrrrrr.

seems too good to be true! my blind as a bat days, the eye allergies, the waking up in the morning and not being able to see a single thing days :D its gonna be over! :D

the bad news is, i am so freaking god dam broke. because my eyes are really so freaking important, and its so so allery prone, i decided to not even consider lasik at NUH or anywhere else, but chose my familiar eye doctor, who charges $6k for both eyes. but im hoping that everything goes smoothly, and the amount spent is worth it :D

wish me luck! :)

2009-08-05T01:33:00.017+08:00

♥ happy 16th baby ong ♥

received a super sweet surprise today! :) supposed to help ys at fright night, but he din reply me and i dinnoe where/when to go, i decided not to go. ard 7pm, baby suddenly appeared at my door! he cabbed down after work to surprise me! :) and i was presented with a mini hamper! :) guess what was inside? :)

tadaaaa! :D

apollo strawberry biscuits
kitkat fingers
kinder bueno
oreo cookies
strepsils
a full box of "i♥u" candies
torch light
tiger balm
wet facial wipes
and my 16th present, a pretty pair of earrings! :D

:D very simple stuff, but it was all i needed if i stayed through fright night. and baby knows how much i like these type of accessories yet never ever buy them cos they are too pricey. so he went to the shop i once showed him and bot me this cute pair of earrings!

just when i thought nothing could be sweeter, another surprise came along! :D

i was searching high and low for sth when i discovered a secret hidden present! :) it was meant to be discovered on at 12am, as part 2 of my surprise :D but oops, i discovered the secret early! another of my fav! a super pretty bracelet with very adorable charms :D

thank you bong. appreciate it so much. especially that you just started work, and have not really adjusted to your new lifestyle. :) thank you for still being my bong :) thank you for being my pillar of support no matter how busy you are :)

2009-08-03T22:56:00.002+08:00

recently, i realised something very important.

it does not matter how much you can do.
neither does it matter how much you are willing to do.
to learn, help, or care.
what matters most,
is your ability to act.

some people like to act dumb or weak.
"i dont know. i really dont"
and watch as some idiots willingly do every darn thing for that person as if he/she was handicapped/retarded.

some others love to act as if every dam thing you do is all for others' wellbeing.
OH YES. every bit you do, is a sacrifice for the good of others.
please dont act like you're mother theresa unless you genuinely have that attitude and heart.
its an insult to truly kind people.
but still. these people infiltrate our lives.
even if their sole aim was just to benefit THEMSELVES,
they make it sound like it was all for other's good.
WOW. HOW COOL.
now everyone thinks you're an angel.

lastly, learn to say things EARLY. the first mover advantage.
as long as you tell someone something is wrong, and ask the person to do it,
you SOUND like you have foresight and can see things before others.
even if while you were acting boss,
others were already evaluating the situation and finding the best solution.
it doesnt matter. what matters is,
be the first person who says "SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE. DO IT"
then you are the boss.

i hate these type of people. yet too bad. this is the real world.

2009-07-20T23:06:00.006+08:00

woah. have been in a foul mood today and yet my firefox REFUSES to allow me to blog. i cant even blog to vent my frustrations. haha. but clever me tried using internet explorer. and it works! i realise that firefox is getting lousier.

anws. today darling went to primary one. haha. ok. it was his first day of work. i dont actually remember myself being so mentally weak. walao. just freaking bad mood. even start falling sick out of no where. i think im crazy.

its this feeling of being a burden. while he works, im sleeping, when im awake, im all energetic, i have lots of things to tell him, yet he may be too tired for those knitty gritty things after a day of work. its just the first day. i guess im totally not used to it. i just feel so good for nothing. it actually reminds me of the PA period. the last week when i was still working, and darling went to thailand for his cheer training. it just felt so empty. no matter how fulfilling my day was, i could just sit and cry. haha. i think i got malfunctional tear ducts.

i dont rmb crying so much for such a stupid matter before. i think everyone around me should be happier! qt a few of my friends are having random r/s problems and issues. so we're kinda just sharing our problems, in the process injecting the emo-ness into each other. haha. we must be stronger! :) lets all be happier! :)

i actually have so many things i want to do before i start working too. really. but i just dont have the mood to start. wells. i dont even have the mood to continue with my blogshop. zzzz. 1 week back, i was eager to take photos for the collection, yet now half is done, and i dont even have the mood to arrange the collages and all.

whats wrong. i want to snap out of this now.

anws, i was surfing youtube, and i chanced upon michelle phan's makeup and beauty videos. go check out her different looks for different occasions. actually i honestly dont find her pretty at all, yet after making up, she can look gorgeous in some of her videos. i quite like her eye makeup looks and i find her very detailed in her narrations. haha. suitable for people like me who knows nuts about makeup :) she has her own skincare product line and she's only 21. omgomg. i think she studied art in university in us and is working on her own men and women fashion line. she's super cool rite. haha.

2009-06-30T03:04:00.007+08:00

i have been having many many outings with my baby, doing simple random stuff recently. and i really cant explain how fulfilling it is. just so contented :) i wanna spend more time with my little baby before he starts work :((((

some outdated photos from darling sister's malaysia side wedding. :) a mini holidate for me n bong :)

we went to the discovery center to see if we could discover some new things :P but apparently there wasnt much there except for the 4D rides, went for happy shopping spree during the sales, buying some stuff from club marc :P, had dimsum brunch @ hotel royal for dear's fathers day celebration, we went to marina barrage for kite flying and picnic, went on with our shopping sprees in silly pursuit of club marc to the central where it was quite disappointing, my family's fathers day celebration kbox buffet at marina square which was really a very different and heartwarming experience, cycling day followed by super shuang kbox sessions where we singed our lungs out (literally) cos it was so empty that we were allowed to stay beyond the timings, my crazy craving for hotdog rolls and my baby sweetly tried to fulfill, our random supper cooking sessions, stay home days where we just rotted the entire day. i enjoyed every one of it :)

its really these small things in life, that make me feel so happy and contented. its as if nothing else matters anymore. (on a side note, my memory sucks. i din even list the items in chronological order. cos i cant rmb what happened first. zzz.)

met up with jc peeps last week and guess what? :) im so shocked that grace is getting married! :) hee. we're gonna be her jie mei, meaning it will be the first time we experience such a thing! woah! exciting :) rom is in september and wedding is going to be next year! :) wheee. congrats to this pair of xingfu couple! :)

i love this picture we took at ecp. because the sky is so so so blue. though we both look tired and have messy hair, i love the way its just us and the blue blue sky :)

2009-06-23T01:37:00.004+08:00

no matter how much effort i put in, i just cant cover the roles of two individuals. and its draining all my strength.

maybe only when everyone who has always silently been supporting us suddenly leaves us, forcing us to face everything the vast world alone, clearing the shit we left behind all alone. maybe only then, will it be sufficient to make us realise. what we have taken forgranted, and now lost.

maybe now, it is easy to say you dont need anyone there for you. but one day you realise how alone you are, and regret not treasuring.

only situations where you need someone around, will you really see, who are truly your best friends. those that will be there for you, regardless of rain or shine, day or night. and no matter how each and everyone of us may be different in some way or other, you know that when u need them, they will be there.

2009-06-12T14:11:00.003+08:00

yesterday i received a letter with a subject "joint orientation programme" from EY. the 1st para introduced the joint orientation between EY spore & msia and gave some brief details.

the second paragraph described that this orientation will start shortly after our training which will commence from the first day of my work. so the first thought that ran through my mind was, WOW, im starting work on 17th august and the orientation is on 5th oct? what a huge lag time.

then how interesting. the next sentence was:
"please note your commencement date will be changed to 28th september 2009"

i was like quite stunned. to me, the point of the whole letter should not be informing me of the joint orientation programme. the title, the first paragraph should have said that main point that the starting date of work is deferred.

kinda trying to camouflage this slightly inappropriate adjustment between the letter huh.

2009-05-31T23:08:00.006+08:00

i just want to be pampered.
i just want to be loved.
i just want to be understood.
i just want to have someone to rely on.

for everything i have been tolerating.
for everything i have ignored.
for everything i have tried.

and you so easily doubt me.

undermine every single fucking bit of effort i put in.

2009-05-19T08:25:00.024+08:00

warning: this is an uber long post on my taiwan trip :)

29 April 2009 Day 1

we left sg at ard 2pm and reach taiwan at ard 7+ :)

cos it was too late to do much, we spend our night at 西门町, which was super near our hotel. had this 阿扁鸭面 for dinner. we unknowingly ordered half a duck that turned out to be so much and so ex! and it was so hard to bite. haha. struggling sia.

then we had bittergourd juice. and it was super bitter!

me and baby went out to 7-11 for supper at night and i was so fascinated by the huge selections of food they provide! in taiwan almost every 100m has a 7-11, family mart or similar 24 hour store. yummy! :) singapore should learn from them! :)

30 April 2009 Day 2

hualien tour :) it was a super long train ride to 花莲, so we spend time taking photos of the scenery and sleeping on the train.

saw this really cute 山猪. a scooter rental stall kept it as a pet :)

a super scary incident happened at 九曲洞. some stones broke off from the rocky mountain area and hit some father n son. den when we walked past, we saw a puddle of blood on the floor. yucks! and a super bimbotic ah tiong still asked me, "what is that? paint?"

some photos of the super nice scenery at hualien :) its really very majestic. all the structures and architecture. and also it was the first time i saw so much trees and so huge stones and moutains and it was super amazing to me :)

we saw this super huge 玫瑰石 in one of the gift shops in 花莲. its really super nice :)

then we just spent the night walking around the mini night markets in 花莲 :) this was our hotel room and we had it all to ourselves! :D

01 May 2009 Day 3

the driver picked us up at our hotel to send us to 花莲 farglory ocean park!

it was so fun seeing the cute sea lions and dolphins perform!

this is the sealions having a 2 on 2 basket ball match! lol! :) how cute!

the themepark rides were superrrr fun. the super scary viking that made us feel like we were dropping off and the water ride that we all went twice cos it was just too fun! :)

then it was time to go back to 台北 :) took our last shots with the figurine mascots of farglory! :)

02 May 2009 Day 4

we had our brunch at TAMAGO YA :) super nice omu rice!

after lunch, we were walking along some shopping centers and chanced upon an event which had 名模隋棠 as the spokesperson. hee. we werent really interested so we went along to the 总统府. that was kinda boring too. and we werent allowed access in.

so we went along to 台北 101 :) honestly, nothing special, just super good scenery. oh. and the wind at the top floor was so crazily strong that there was this constant extremely loud whistling. haha. luckily the skinny girls sy and jf din fly away!

lastly we headed to 五分埔 for shopping before going to 饶河夜市 at night!

03 May 2009 Day 5

we woke up super late at 2pm! din have much time to plan where to go, but so coincidentally, eidik biaoshu and auntie judy suggested we 泡温泉 before going for dinner! :) it was my first time. hee. fun!! and summore it was free cos auntie judy had vouchers for private 温泉! :) shiok! :)

after that, we went to 阳明山 for dinner at a restaurant. the view was super nice. we could almost see the whole 台北 from the mountain top. and at the end of the dinner, the manager gave us a complimentary fruit sculpture dish! see the bottom right hand picture :) it was fruits made into a shape of a phoenix!

then we went to 士林夜市 for shopping! after going back to the hotel, me and darling sneaked out to mac to try their breakfast cos we were hungry. omg! their breakfast meals are so super nice. yummy! the menu is largely similar, yet the food quality is so different! *drools* now sg's mac is like so pale in comparison.

04 May 2009 Day 6

we decided to go to 淡水老街 and 渔人码头 before going to 士林夜市 at night. however, unknowingly, we spent 5 hours walking a surprisingly short stretch of roads due to our prolonged stops at every shop along the road. and because it was already 10pm, we din even go to 渔人码头. but oh! we managed to eat 阿给! super nice 豆腐 with 冬粉 and 鱼饼 inside. so delicious! :)

in order to not waste time, despite the huge bags of shoppings we were carrying, we bravely decided to head for 士林夜市 for more shopping! the accessories and bags are really nice :) but the clothes are actually qt normal and common. and was not cheap too. so din buy much. guys clothes were more unique and worth buying though!

05 May 2009 Day 7

we went to yingge to make potteries! super fun! each of us made two potteries each. but we will only receive it in mid june because it has to be shipped back to sg after they are "baked".

then we headed to this quite classy ambience place for lunch. look at the set meals! :) the main meal, a side dish, vegetables, soup and a delicious mango pudding dessert! and the best part was, it only costs ard 300NT! :)

and lastly, we went to watch 百万大歌星! there was 哈林,苏永康,王杰,棒棒堂,张云京,鲁广中 and NONO. hee. go and see the video on youtube, can see sally sy jf me and bong at the side SWAYING to the music as requested. haha. hands dam tired de loh! :)

06 May 2009 Day 8

we overslept and ended up throwing all our stuffs into our mini luggages, depositing our luggage at our taipei hotel b4 running to the train station! it was 4 hours to 嘉义 and another 4 hours on the 阿里山火车 before we reached alishan! what a long ride! it was quite scary cos alishan is super duper uber high and as we looked out of the train window, all we could see were very very very steep slopes. scary to think that if anything happened, there we would go! :)

upon reaching, we went to 7-11 to meet sy's fren jialing. she hospitably allowed us to loiter in her 7-11 as if we were really homeless. haha. since there werent much things to do on 阿里山 at night, we spent most of our time there before checking into our hotel. our lovely hotel room with two double beds! :)

07 May 2009 Day 9

we woke up so earli to rush to watch the legendary 阿里山日出 and went to see 神木, 夫妻树 and other sceneries. then we went to walk thru the trail in alishan itself which was actually abit boring (honestly!!). we were the youngest people in the crowd. hmm i tink it is generation gap! cos all the ahma ahgongs were so facinated by the 三兄弟，四姐妹，姐妹潭， etc.

and not forgetting to thank shuying's super hospitable fren (her dasao's best friend) jialing. so thoughtful of her to help us in every way she could! :)

this time, after the alishan train back to the train station, we changed our train tickets to bus tickets and took the super luxurious bus back to taipei. we saved 100NT each and even got to watch movies, play games and relax in the huge seat throughout our journey! and it saved us 1 hour :)

08 May 2009 Day 10
sy sally jf went to style their hair so me and baby spend the day shopping! :) woke up and went to 西门町 for shopping. we bought so many things and found so many cute and small interesting things :) then we wanted to put our shopping bags in the hotel so we dabao-ed our new discovery, the super delicious mc crispy back to our hotel for dinner. after that we went to 士林夜市 to walk around. moreeee shopping. i loved the simple shopping day with my baby :)

09 May 2009 Day 11

spent our last day at 西门町 for some last min shopping before heading back to the hotel to get our luggages. eidik biaoshu actually hired a nine-seater to send us to the airpot in case we had too many luggages! so sweet and thoughtful of him! :) appreciate all his help when we were in tw!

the last few photos taken at 桃园机场 before we boarded our plane back to sg. notice sy and jf's super different hair styles :)

:) thats the end of my trip! sorry if its super long. but i wanna jot down all the things i did so i can look back and rmb this first trip i went with my frens. putting aside my anxieties and worries, i really enjoyed the trip. thanks to eidik biao shu and auntie judy for being so hospitable, pampering the 5 of us with such a well planned and secured trip, and my baby for looking after all 4 of us so well.

special thanks to my baby for tolerating my grumpiness of being away from home and fear of doing anything alone in all the creepy hotel rooms :) for holding my luggages when it was really too heavy, for shifting the single beds to form our huge double beds, for bringing me out for supper every night when i was hungry. :)

i wanna go on holidate again! :) next time. and the next time, i will bring lots of money and shop like crazy. i regret not buying every single thing i see! and i regret not taking photos like theres no tomorrow. have too little photos for an 11 day trip :(

2009-05-18T16:02:00.006+08:00

sometimes in life, there is no point at all, holding on to the past, gritting your teeth just because something bad happened before.

dont you think living life that way sucks? torturing yourself with all the overpowering emotions? its only people who manage to successfully put certain things behind, who will be able to live happily. i dont mean forgetting and throwing away memories. but just storing them in a safe place and moving on.

some people feel the world revolves around them. that everyone owes them something. sometimes, things in reality is not as simple as what you have in your isolated and self deluded bubble. certain things may not be what you see. if you dont understand enough. you have no right to judge.

you may see the outcome, but who knows better than the person involved, what the process was? dont judge and jump into stupid uninformed conclusions.

you have no idea what things were like.

certain people are just too unworthy to help. because no matter how you put in all your effort, they just continue living in their bubble. they undermine all your efforts and think that they are the most pitiful and most tortured soul. then the best part comes. they turn around and bite you when things arent as perfect as expected.

grow up. welcome to the real world. some people. so self deluded. so self centered. so childish. please do try to get over your predicament. or if you cant, then i pity you. so poor thing. i can give you some donation.

2009-05-18T01:05:00.004+08:00

i feel that darling's sister is very xingfu.
putting aside the small worries and anxieties in life.
just looking at the big picture.

she is so xingfu :)
a super loving husband and family.
although it seems cliche.
everything seems so perfect for her
:)

may she have a super blissful marriage :)

2009-05-17T22:37:00.007+08:00

i hope nothing goes wrong :)
im just being paranoid

so familiar.
yet so foreign.

i still have not had time to sit myself down to post the taiwan photos. maybe tomorrow :)

visit my blogshop for super nice popup cards. really super nice that me n bong couldnt help but buy tons of them. all from taiwan :) super unique la. different from our own popup cards sold in singapore which look quite pathetically sian beside these gorgeous cards :)

2009-05-12T02:39:00.004+08:00

i am back from tw!! :D
i sorta regret not taking MORE photos.
and i regret not buying MORE things.

i suddenly realise in singapore, the clothes, accessories, shoes, and everything else is not as pretty and attractive as taiwan. eeeeeeeeeeeeee.

:) shall update photos of my tw trip another time!

but first, the 传说中的 BABY WRAP

2009-05-11T17:04:00.005+08:00

i am dam pissed.
and its because of you.

2009-04-29T09:25:00.005+08:00

im going to taiwan LATER! haha. my flight is in 5 hours! im excited, nervous, uneasy and SLEEPY.

why sleepY? cos i 失眠 last night loh. just cant get to slp sleep till 5.30am. and wow! amazing! for the past few days of holidays, i nv woke up earlier than 12pm unwillingly. but guess what? i woke up at 8.30am and i just could not get back to sleep.

while im so excited about going to taiwan, beneath the excitement im actually quite worried and uneasy. i guess it again boils down to my character, i worry too much. all the wild thoughts, uneasiness starts settling in :(

with the SWINE flu, the sandstorm, the banning of geese from taiwan because its unsafe for consumption, it seems like quite a bad time? just need to be super extra careful.

and in the midst of my enjoyment, im afraid im enjoying at the expense of others. i hope mama wun be too sad. i hope everyone will be just fine when im away. :) as much as i pray for my trip to be smooth, safe and happy, i pray for my family to be just as safe and happy until i come back :)

2009-04-24T13:56:00.003+08:00

:) i realised i have nothing much to blog about. it has been boring for me. super. hmm. but at least im going to taiwan next week :) thats something to look forward to. yet there are so many things bugging at me to do.

SETTLE OUR TAIWAN ACCOMODATION (dam freaking late alr)
apply for ibanking (so i can handle my shop when im in tw)
reapply for my passbook (i lost it. i cant believe it)
evacuate from my hall room (which is so packed. faints.)
pack my wardrobe to make space for more clothes (from hall & future formal wear)
pack my shoe rack
take photos for my collection 2 (i want to launch it b4 i go tw!)
on going rapid checking of emails and tags in case i have new customers.

zzzzzzz. im actually feeling very busy. haha. i cant stand it. i want to watch my showsss. i want to read my book. i want to go kbox..

2009-04-21T04:47:00.004+08:00

i finally set up my blogshop!! :) go and see!! haha.

2009-04-18T15:40:00.002+08:00

my exams are officially over. my core papers was manageable. at least i know for sure it will be a passing grade. haha.

i wish i can be exclaiming that I HAVE GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!! but sadly, at the back of my mind, i keep getting bugged by the fact that my BS802 elective (bio in pop media) was so freaking difficult. what if. just what if i end up having half a sem more? zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

it was so freaking ridiculous. initially, the lecturere said MCQ. then she said maybe there will be 2 answers per qn, so shade BOTH. on the exam day, they announced that it can be all FIVE choices correct. walao. what is the possibility of getting a question correct? and the worth part was the questions were rather judgemental. and the english sucks. please lar. for goodness sake. if you cant even express your thoughts well. dont come out with so DUMB questions la. how do you judge if an answer is correct if you are not sure in what context the question is referring to? its like.. something correct in a context may not be correct in another..

LAME. this is the worst module i've taken in my 3 years in ntu. noone should ever take it again. this teacher bo liao one. everyone say ez, score too well she want to make her ppr so hard. good for you. hope everyone does dam badly to prove to you that your teaching AND paper setting skills SUCK TO THE MAX.

but for now, i wanna enjoy first. im starting work on 17 august. so i better enjoy! haha. wheee :D im going to taiwan in less than 2 weeks! excited!

2009-04-13T02:11:00.004+08:00

handsome suit was a nice movie. lighthearted and yet quite sad. haha. its kind of cliche to say that looks dont matter at all. and thus in the show they really make the male lead so ke lian. haha. everything goes wrong because he is ugly.

this girl is so super pretty. haha. she's the female lead in handsome suit. think she looks like 许玮伦, 宋惠乔 and 賈靜雯. haha. all combined into one.

2009-04-11T17:00:00.012+08:00

i remember someone once loved this song alot :) this is my karma.

theres an endless pit in front.
you know you're just gonna keep falling.
there is no end to it.
why would you still jump in and let yourself fall?
no one's gonna save you.
if you choose to jump in, you're gonna fall all on your own.
and it was your choice.
who else is there to blame?

sometimes i just wish that i can be happy always. why is it so difficult.

2009-04-10T17:31:00.005+08:00

i cant remember how many times, i expected something to happen, yet i tell myself, it wont be. there is no need to be bothered by something that may just not happen. and i allow myself to feel so super happy.

but its always the same. it always turns out that the gut feeling is right. and then it just feels so totally disappointing.

im never ever gonna think that way anymore. never gonna to pretend things will just turn out to be pretty and nice. cos its not. maybe after the exams its time for everything to pass. actually i agree. you seem to have changed.

2009-04-09T23:08:00.006+08:00

exams always make me feel like going on shopping sprees!

im so addicted to victoria secrets. feel like buying everything. i hope i can win the bid for the purple beauty tote in satin on ebay!! its only bidding for SGD8! yayy :) i love vs, and i love satin. so i'll love the bag. haha.

bought this pink logo tote. i totally love it. haha. its part of a trio collection.

ohh. have been planning for our taiwan trip after exams. yayy :) we're going for a holiday again! heehee. hopefully we can stay highclass nicenice hotel/minsu for cheap cheap!! some taiwan minsu's are really cheap at SGD 60 per night.. and the decorations of the rooms are wonderful.

uhoh. the 311 exam casestudy is out. im freaking scared. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. i should get back to mugging.

2009-04-07T19:02:00.006+08:00

:) last thurs me and dada went out scouting for nice couple rings. tadaa...ringring!

then we cooked dinner in hall. doesnt it look yummy? bong's stir fried chicken with leek is super duper uber nice. heehee. *drools*

:) we lurve holidates!!!! we want more! haha.

as the exams near. im starting to feel so nervous. i still have a report i haven done and i have 3 papers BACK TO BACK. haha. im dam scared for my bio in pop media. its not as easy as everyone said it would be. and the crazy teacher said its gonna be more challenging with her new inputs this year. she and her great idea. im so dead. why did i even choose that subject when i dont have ANY bio background :( stupid.

ilu bong :) thanks for being so sweet most of the time :P muacks*

2009-04-03T22:45:00.004+08:00

:) its just 12 days to exams. and im starting to feel scared. serious. but too bad cos i still have one presentation and a report to complete by next week.

i already know what things are like. serious. but sometimes i find it so hard to rationalize some people's actions. is there a need to do certain actions just to prove how nice you are? if you're nice, people just know that you're nice. because they can feel the sincerity in your normal words or actions. somethings dont have to be that deliberate.

have been having a dam bad headache since the crazy cab ride back home just now. this prove that during evening times, just take the mrt. getting stuck in traffic jams waste your time, money and basically makes you carsick.

tml will be a good day, i hope :)

2009-04-01T00:59:00.004+08:00

its right that we tend to overlook what we have around us, and take it forgranted until we no longer have it.

2009-03-29T20:36:00.008+08:00

im suffering from moodswings recently :( sadsad. i need retail therapy. but im just too broke.

suddenly im like in love with satin. anything satin attracts me nowadays. haha. must be nice la obviously.

hee. but yest when i went gaigai with darling, my heels base detached so i had an excuse to buy shoes! :) the pair i bought was similar to this pair of sandals. it had a hot pink satin flower and a black base. can u believe the price of this pair in the picture is $550?? -.-

ohh and and and! im in love with charm bracelets too! :) can anyone tell me where i can buy the charms only at a reasonable price? in isetan it was like selling for $6 per charm. so expensive! i wanna make my own bracelets! i bought this charmed bracelet online but i dun like the green chicken pox giraffe! haha. looks so off. so i wanna find charms to replace it too!

i think im starting to look more and more tired each day. i dont know if its bcos of my lousy mood or my lack of rest. i should sleep earlier. boyboy. stop influencing me to sleep so super late already laaa. i will grow old lohhh. or else u sponsor my bird's nest and facial laa.. ok? deal! :) kidding la. haha.

aye. i needa go and do my work. so much things to do. so little time left. 17 days to exams. OMG!

2009-03-26T01:37:00.012+08:00

my and my cheerleader boyfriend.

thanks for accompanying me auntie! :D

actually im supposed to be. but actually, i am not. its just different. i never ever had so much courage to say so clearly how i felt about us before. maybe because i just felt so hopeless. frankly, nothing changed just because u hugged me tightly as i cried. nothing changed even though i stopped crying. because sometimes you just have to hide the sadness inside. things seem better because its just supposed to be that way. but i know its actually not. for both you and me. i still feel the way i feel. and you are severely suffering from post-cheer nostalgia. somethings, you dont have to tell me, i just know. and it makes me sad. but so what.

2009-03-23T01:32:00.002+08:00

today im off duty :) everything for myself.

not for anyone.

i shall smile when i want to. and cry when i feel like it. today, i had alot of time to do nothing but reflect on my life. it occurred to me that i need to do something rash. something different. everything for myself. i dont wanna be considerate anymore.

2009-03-22T02:02:00.002+08:00

im feeling super down today. and i slipped and fell, knocking my chin on the table and banging my toes on the wall. eeeeee. i tink i sprained my toes laaa. so dumb :(

ROARRRR!

yest i went out shopping w lh. theres this cheater bug shop. i bought a dress from there b4 at 59.90 loh. yest when i walked past, the things were selling at 1 for $12, 2 for $20. i almost FAINTED. so i bought many many things there to average out my loss from the initial dress i bought :P good excuse to shop rite! ohh! and i bought a bikini too! hahaha. i think im crazy. cos it was quite ex. haha. but i couldnt resist it la. so i bought it just in case! :P

tml going to support bong bong at his cheerobics. jiayou ok baby. cos no matter what, my ah bong is the best :D

wishing ong bong bong all the luck in the universe! :) muacks*

2009-03-14T16:16:00.006+08:00

sometime ago someone asked me to help with something. and since im so seemingly free, i agreed. i know that when i help others, i should not expect anything in return. but it turns out that person starts claiming its all done personally and uses it to 讨好别人 by offering to share everything. ohh. what a 大方 and 慷慨 person we have here.

its not that im being selfish. its about respecting the person who helped to do it and the thing itself. i thought you needed help. if i knew it was to serve a superficial and ego-boosting purpose, wld i have helped? i doubt so. i rather spend my time doing nth than help.

i dont particularly enjoy this feeling. if you dont intend to show some basic respect towards what someone else helped you with, then ure a disappointment. treat it like i did community service or something.

2009-03-13T23:31:00.005+08:00

A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.

:) i loved marley and me. heehee. cried uncontrollably :) its so sweet :) everyone should go watch it! bong. lets have a puppy next time :)

i think im having a good luck streak recently :P went for hall anniversary and i won the 9th out of 10th prize. LAPTOP COOLER. haha. and so superrr malu. hahaha. den during some weird morning lecture, the lecturer just gave afew "brain teasers" for fun and asked us to sms him when we tot of the ans. the fastest wins. and YEAH. just for fun, i sms-ed and i won. LOL. erm. but the prize was so attractive. a meal in can b. haha.

andddd... i dont know if anyone remembers the snack called HIRO CHOC CAKE. some snack that i ate everyday during recess in primary school. but the snacks stall just suddenly stopped selling it! :(

BUT :) i found it! heehee. the snacks stall outside my house just brought their first batch of stocks in today! and i bought 10 packets in case it gets sold out! hahaha :) see. guen is a huge eater. hahaha :P

2009-03-05T20:53:00.001+08:00

i hate it when im not told the full picture of things. i dont know what to think sometimes when i know certain things, yet i cant say it. and then it just accumulates.

and the most disturbing thing is somehow i feel that somethings are just not what you say they are.

2009-02-28T00:50:00.006+08:00

this is a crap post so dont read unless you're dam free.

suddenly feeling nostalgic. a very 心酸 feeling. so many things have changed. at every point of our lives, theres sth different to look back on. and surprisingly, uni life which i tot was my most "fun and exciting" period was not as fulfilling as i tot. i love my jc and sec sch days. maybe when some things have a wrong head start, its just difficult to put things right again.

recently, i have been thinking alot. i dont know why. everytime i have some free time for myself, my mind starts to wander off, thinking about everything and anything. and sometimes when i forget pull myself back, i get so lost in my thoughts. but they dont get me anywhere. following the train of thoughts just leaves me hanging in mid air, not knowing what to do next.

i cant shake off my nightmares. its just there. every single night. go awayyy. i hate you. mom says im too stressed. hahahaha. maybe i am too stressed because i haven gotten anything done for the past half a semester.

sometimes i wish i have enough courage to spend one day out all by myself. not having to be accountable to anyone else. just myself :) but i wont be brave enough to do so. cos when the loneliness creeps in slowly, i dont think i can take it just staying alone.

there are certain things we know but dont really like, so we tend to block them outside our mind. but thats being ostrich-y rite? :) bury ur head in the sand when there are problems around. but i still do that all the time. but i suddenly realised that having to accustom urself to accepting the fact again and again becomes much more difficult as compared to acknowledging it once and for all and leaving it aside.

everyone who drives should drive carefully ok! serious :) take care!! hmm reckless driving scares me quite a bit. esp for those young people who just passed their tp and think that slip of license means everything. if you're zai good for you, if you're not dont speed or anything ok. cos its really v dangerous if you cant drive/estimate/control well.

just feel like saying some things totally irrelevant of each other. in a weird mood today. but anw, i should start studying for my quiz on tues! :)

2009-02-25T00:40:00.006+08:00

im really very frustrated with the mess i just created. i seriously dont know what to do.

but all thanks to my ultimately sweet bong who came all the way from school just to buy me supper :) i was so relieved to see you :) a billion bong-hugs a day keeps bang's troubles away :)

some silly pictures of the bang and bong :)

2009-02-24T15:56:00.007+08:00

staying happy all the time is just fake and superficial. teach me to do it sincerely.

whats the big freaking deal about doing my own things on my own.

i just imagined you would have cared more than that. but still, why should i expect that when it is my own problem and not yours?

the most ironic thing is that everytime i hope you accompany me and it turns out to be like shit. it just makes me realise that i dont need you to be with me anyway. i can do it on my own.

i am not handicapped. i can do things myself. and i will do it on my own. i will never hope i can rely on you again.

2009-02-21T02:55:00.004+08:00

my poor darling niece is down with lung infection and she is still in the hospital, not discharged yet. sighh. so 可怜 all the injections and drips. think she's actually quite brave :) hope she gets well soon!

feeling very frustrated with myself. i unintentionally said sth that i din really think thru properly. it was reli insignificant so im sure no damage was done. but still, i cant help feeling so guilty for the freaking brainless comment i made. i cant stop questioning myself over and over again. its literally the feeling of crying over split milk. and no matter what, i just cant get it out of my head.

i need something more interesting in my life. im so sick of it being so boring. zzzzzzzz.i need more sparks. i need more excitement.

2009-02-16T01:41:00.002+08:00

i had a great day. serious. sorry for the stupid things i did :( i still had a great day.

thanks bong bong for everything :)

2009-02-15T17:36:00.002+08:00

stupid bang bang made a super cute, thoughtful, sweet baby upset. sorry bongbong. dont upset with stupid bang bang ok?

happy valentines' day to my one and only mister BOISTER :)

i love you bong :)

2009-02-08T03:22:00.010+08:00

yayy. today went to ms goh's house bai nian :) actually i realised its been so long since i saw elizabeth! hee but i was late so kenna niamed. hahaha :) sorry!

:) our only group photo!

then i went to meet bongbong for dinner at citylink's newyork newyork :) something interesting happened.

bong ordered the ribs he was craving for. but when it came, it was overcooked, hard and extremely dry. it was really bad so we informed the manager. with,out another word he whisked the plate to the kitchen and returned explaining that the ribs texture was actually reasonable, but it was a lack of marination and sauce. he also served us a complimentary wedges in case we grew hungry while waiting, repeatedly apologizing for the rib's quality. when he returned with a new serving (which was really much much nicer), he waited behind while we tried the ribs to ensure we were satisfied.

impressive!

the manager was awesome. i've never encountered such excellent service. someone who really puts his heart into providing service. its not the act of replacing the dish or providing complimentary items. it was his sincerity in trying to remedy the situation that touched me. how often do we see someone who serves with such passion in today's society?

when we learn marketing, we talk about branding, and how we can differentiate ourselves by giving our customers a whole new experience.

it was really a memorable dining experience today :)

bongbong & bangbang

2009-02-07T01:37:00.007+08:00

its been quite a long time since i had such fun chatting with these girls. just a very simple day but it was great :) we were talking about almost every random thing, making ourselves like uber comfy on et's bed. hahaha :) and we talked about first impressions. sth we never shared with each other b4!

i wanna cherish this group of friends forever :) lets keep having outings till like we become OLD. we need to meet up more b4 pok, et, me and vilia goes into audit. den we'd probably like be uber busy :(

:P i'll upload more photos when i go back to hall! :)

2009-01-30T17:22:00.003+08:00

im sick of this.

~~fuck~~

2009-01-24T03:27:00.005+08:00

i love my family. my cute daddy, my sweet sister and amazing mamama :)

i cant explain how much i appreciate my mom. for being so understanding (at least most of the times). regardless, she always thinks in the best interests of me and jiejie, what we want, what we need, and not what she needs or prefers. unless its really hard for her to compromise. its very 奇妙 how mothers so unconditionally do all they can to make their kids happier or better off. we may resent, complain or argue, but ultimately, sometime in the future, im sure we will understand :)

now is one of those times where i sit down thinking about all the sweet things in life. im glad i have my family :) and im glad i have you.

on a side note. i need to start studying. its week 3 and im lagging behind. because of my new found motivation, im so looking forward to graduating :) i must must must study super hard. after all, this is the last chance im gonna have to mug mug mug!

pui, if you're still upset, cheer up ok? :) ur smile is captivating :P cause you're so 善良 and understanding, im sure no matter what happens, ur friends do know that you dont mean anything in the bad way :) love you. cheer up ok.

2009-01-19T20:20:00.016+08:00

2009-01-18T23:12:00.007+08:00

i knew i should not have expected. yet i still hoped.

now i wished i hadnt.its different. what u claim it is. and what u make me feel it is. ironic. how ultimately, nth is enough to diminish it.

2009-01-10T02:04:00.003+08:00

heehee. im so excited about our picnic on sunday! :) i'll be preparing the food for our picnic. i hope everything turns out yummy!

im happy. its not mood swings. its just that being sad wont solve anything :) the more i think, the worse i make things seem. thanks for cheering me up :)

i just wanna say, i have the bestest boybaby in the universe :)

2009-01-08T22:25:00.008+08:00

cheer me up. clear this cloud of sadness around me. its drowning me :(

i feel like im crazy. many many many many small things have snowballed. its not any particular thing. but i just feel so stretched that i cant really tolerate anything at all anymore.

or maybe. just maybe im sick of pretending.

im losing control. and i hate it.

where are uuuuuuuuu :(

2009-01-02T00:52:00.006+08:00

yay :) happy new year everyone! may this year be just as blessed as the last! :)

i didnt go for any countdown parties :) but i loved my new year's eve cos i had everyone i love most right next to me :) feeling contented :)

2008-12-29T23:16:00.007+08:00

we lost to hall 2 69-29. but i still love bball :)

im suffering from a quarter life crisis :( save me.

2008-12-20T18:56:00.005+08:00

in a freaking bad mood.

roarrrr.

2008-12-16T23:01:00.002+08:00

:) had a match against hall 6 today. as expected, we lost. while we started quite slow, but i felt it was not bad le cos so many of our team were not well. leg injuries, food poisoning, fever etc.

as expected i played quite badly. haha. but seriously, im quite thankful that i got a chance to play in this match. i felt that it was a super good learning experience :)

hope we will be able to make it into quarters! :)

im so pissed off with hall 2. big bunch of arrogant, low and despicable cheater bugs. no sportsmanship at all. sneaky and underhand. our guys team must jiayou! :) 球是圆的!!

2008-12-10T20:03:00.005+08:00

im aching badly from bball training yesterday. feel so bad for not going today. sighh. i cant really explain to anyone why i didnt go today.

wheres my reason for being happy? come back :) i hate feeling sad all the time. it burdens everyone around me. maybe when you lose the reason for being sad, the sadness will just go away.

2008-12-07T01:14:00.006+08:00

i quarreled with my mom again. i was just telling her something, den she had to force me to do things to her expectations. i am not a puppet and i hate it when she tells me what she expects me to do.

"you shd this that this that, but dont say im forcing you, but i tink u should cos i dun like people to not do them."

NO. its NOT forcing. i was just troubled. and now im irritated, pissed and frustrated. thanks.

and to someone else. dont judge me and think you know me very well. apparently you dont.

2008-12-03T21:32:00.002+08:00

=( im addicted to 小娘惹! haha. thou the story is really super slow paced, but i find it quite interesting. but its so super depressing. it always leaves me feeling so super sad after watching it.

haha. im working hard to complete my baby's xmas present :) and dada's bday is coming soon too! lalala :)

2008-11-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

sighh. sometimes i cant stand the things that my dad does. but then again, he's my dad.

i shdnt be that impatient. i must 忍!

2008-11-26T11:49:00.001+08:00

im so freaking cui.

shit it man.

2008-11-26T02:57:00.006+08:00

me and dada went to see xmas lightings on monday night! :) its very nice. this year's theme is sweet christmas! super cute cos there were so many lollipops, cupcakes, sweets, etc.

:) of all the decorations, this part is my favourite. and the photo looks nice too! :) feels like we're in toyland or something!

2008-11-24T09:13:00.007+08:00

:) this is just a super nonsense post cos im bored.

on friday, a blind man cheated me off apples, pears, potato chips, tissue paper and ice lemon tea! grrrrr. i tot since he's blind help him buy things, save him the trouble, i hao xing ok. bt his list got longer and longer. the worst part is he didnt have any tissue paper in his hands and he asked me help him buy abit. den when i came back. he had a whole BAG, huge plastic bag full of it.. zzz.. ask me buy den he can take and sell rite.. after awhile it was really getting very weird. then i realised maybe he was not blind. im so stupid rite.

like how someone tells me sth and i believe it totally cos i trust that person. sometime later i realise what i held to be true was actually only partially true. the other crucial half was intentionally filtered off.

i think i am just dam stupid. so easily cheated.

ohh :) i was awarded the PA book prize :) lol! see im so zai. hahaha. i think my mom is right. my skills of bull shitting has improved tremendously. my report must have been so super convincing.

anyway, the reason why im blogging rubbish now, is cos im suffering from insomnia! =( i keep sleeping late and waking up automatically at like 7am. and i just cant get back to slp. today was worst. i got up at 6am. and i have been stoning since then.

i think im mad. when im studying, im lazy, tired and sleepy. when im free to sleep all i like, i just cant fall asleep. grrrr. summore some piggy dunwan wake up bring me go eat mac breakfast =PpP and i think its all ur fault lohhh. when i dont have you to hug me to slp, i just cant get to slp =( all ur fault that im suffering from insomnia.
act i've been in a super good mood since sat.. but im super bored now. and pets society is having some problems. siannn.

:) got a surprise for somebody later!

2008-11-22T03:51:00.006+08:00

im glad i have friends who are there. they just know it when things are wrong and i need them most. and they nv fail to be there.
thats what friends are for :) i dont need tons and tons of friends. those i have around me now already makes the world of a difference :)

i need to learn to be more decisive. when sth should be it, it is it.

2008-11-21T03:55:00.006+08:00

exams are finally over :) YAY!

yay :) me jojo lx n sebas went out to play on wed :) we purposely "starved" b4 gg to yum cha for the dim sum buffet. yummy! then we went to party world to sing k :) i miss singing k but i dun like party world :( dun want go there anymore. haha. at the end of the day all of us were like battery flat.

today bangbang and bongbong went swimming! haha. the best part is, i forgot how to swim. zzz. cant believe myself. haha. but it was fun playing in the water anyway :) haha. bt im sunburnt :(

:) jiayou to everyone whos still having exams!! :) it'll be over soon! :D den lets go and play!
i should be happy. n im gg to be happy. becos i should :) we create our own habits so un-creating them should not be a problem. habits are bad. they make you grow too comfortable with things you should not be.

2008-11-05T20:57:00.003+08:00

its like a roller coaster.

up and down. up and down.the first person u look for, is disappointingly also the first person who will slap u right in the face. time just serves to reveal what u never saw before.

2008-11-02T03:51:00.012+08:00

=D just posting some over due pictures!

my boybaby gave me a super pleasant bday surprise at 12mn on 22 oct! :) hee. it was his room filled with 21 blue and pink balloons each, and a balloon bouquet! :) and a choc-a-bloc super delicious banana chocolate cake! :) so super sweet. heehee. but i kinda spoilt the surprise by sitting right outside my door when dada ran past frantically. sorry =PpP

dinner at night =)

today me and boybaby went to watch high school musical 3. yeah. i liked it. =) heehee. i bot a pair of little twin stars slippers and a ruler! =) haha. *excited* and we took some photos with the halloween accessories on sale. hee. this one is with the pet society look alike wizard hat! :)

p.s. notice the super nice tshirt dada is wearing? waaa. the person who bot it has good taste hor. =) hmm yeah.. must be.. lalala ~~

2008-10-21T15:27:00.003+08:00

:) sunday in ahma's house!

2008-10-21T15:18:00.001+08:00

:) haven had time to upload my photos till now! celebrated my 21st bday on saturday at home! im so thankful to all my dear frens who came despite the super busy schedules, assignments, quizzes and exams just around the corner! reli appreciate it so much.

my dear family who put in so much time and effort for my party. appreciate it so much! love love.

jiejie and jm who helped me so super much b4 and during the party :)

my snava girls. so super happy you all came!! :) thx for the gift! i love it!
layhoon thx for coming earli to help! and i love the cheer costume for my bearbear :)

my dear girls and uncle! :) as usual so many photos were taken! had so much fun with u guys!! too bad et's not ard :(

:) my favourite (and only) THREE friends in NBS! heehee. see how impt u all are to me :PpP

my pageant darlings! i super duper uber love all of u. really :) its been TWO years since pageant time and i reli miss all the fun we had together. our duck clan, the study sessions, gossip sessions and all the other fun times we had together. just thinking back makes me smile!

hall peeps :) thanks for coming!

most imptly :) my boybaby. thanks for everything, for loving me, for knowing me so well, for being right beside me whenever i need you. i love u so much :)

2008-10-13T18:05:00.004+08:00

i need to study. everything else go away.

theres no point in asking someone to do sth they dont wan to. anw its sort of a sudden realisation. i duno if im more disappointed w u or myself.

2008-10-12T00:04:00.007+08:00

a lovely poem introduced by our voice teacher :)

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-- Wystan Hugh Auden

simple words. but they pierce so deeply into one's heart. the feeling of grief and emptiness is heart wrenching.

2008-10-11T22:12:00.005+08:00

i love my hall room :) super nice glow in the dark hearts, stars, sheeps!!

okiee :) back to the books!

2008-10-05T01:34:00.017+08:00

:) my boyboy came to surprise me this afternoon!! :) theme for the day: NERDY!

okay fine. i din look nerdy at all :) darling won. super uber nerdy :)

had a great day except when boyboy's gastric nt well was qt worried :( we went to buy party decorations, but ended up oni getting pink & blue balloons.

we saw a super cute little twin stars wallet at bugis and dada bot it for me! im totally in love with my wallet now. wheee!!

my love :)

:) us.

oh! and to et: hope ure having lotsa fun in tw! :) dun keep zui-ing S.H.E laaa :) how old ler.. hee.. anw enjoy urself study hard and tk care! :) we dun miss u :P

2008-10-03T22:51:00.008+08:00

im so dead. i've been wasting so much time doing nothing, lazing ard, doing everything and anything but studying. i just realised, my first paper is on 13th november! 6 weeks from now. shit.

i seriously wasted the past half a semester doing nothing. i need to make full use of my time from now onwards. i need to lock myself in my room to study study study. i wanna be a full time mugger from now onwards.

the ultimate. roar.

i suddenly realised sy knows me super well. and its scary the way we read each other's mind =) freaky!!

2008-09-28T14:19:00.008+08:00

=) had a really good day yesterday. haha. woke up at 3+pm feeling super happy cos i was going to meet my boyboy after his performance! i have a new pair of nike shoes! yeah. so happy. haha. i tink its super nice! yeahh. love my bee. den we went to watch mama mia! =) yeahh super nice. the songs were super nice, and they were sang well, the show was also qt funny, and the company was the best i could ever get. so it was really very nice =) heeee. everyone shd go n watch it!

oh and the japanese movie Boys over Flowers or sth really sucks. dont watch it! hahaha. kenna conned. so super boring, plot was brainless and ridiculous, and the main characters were really not good looking. i seriously din see anything abt that movie that's worth watching at all! dont go n watch!!

me and the boyboy. =)

im the most xingfu girl in the world. =)

2008-09-25T23:11:00.003+08:00

you're everything that matters. my darling.

2008-09-23T23:48:00.002+08:00

:) haven seen clare for a super long time. so happy to see her today :) in fact i tink we haven met up for such a long time tt i almost didnt noe wad to say at all. but im glad she came. i hope she can come to my party! hahaha. if nothing goes wrong.

okie. anw i've decided to have my bday party at homeee =) im kinda excited but worried. hmmm. we'll see how it goes =) i haven tot of a theme yet! but i will be starting to ask pp to come already. haha. book my dear friends in advance.

kill those who dunwan to come.. =P haha. okie kidding. i tink i scared clare when i said that today. too long nv meet i suddenly so fierce ltr she cry =P haha. kidding. anw. den went to kbox! =) but it wasnt tt good. my voice has been quite cham since i last fell sick like 2 mths ago? haven recover leiii =( dun like.

hmmm. i dont like people to who act like they know me very well. or people who do certain weird things for no valid reason i can think of. i cant help but doubt, maybe you're really that fake/scheming.

2008-09-21T23:58:00.001+08:00

i have a piece of good news to share :) me and sy decided to be tgt!!! :) i got a new darling! hahaha. =PpP since last time when we stayed in 43 i alr knew that she's the one and only bestest best darling le! =P

wheee. yima brot 3 super cute puppies to ahma's house. super small n cute :) yima kp scolding this esp fat puppy for snatching the oni girl girl's food. so although the 3 puppies alwx super glue, the other 2 cld sense yima was scolding, so they ran to hide and pangseh fatty who gt scolded ALONE. and when yima finally sayang fatty, the other 2 ran back to play w fatty. cos they noe danger time is over. LOL. so cowardly la.. but dam adorable. so street smart.

and cos yima qt bias against fatty, b4 she left, mamama warned her "dun b so bad to fatty la. else nxt time u'll regret!". yima replied "ok la. i nv bully fatty la. i oni bully the ugly one..."

-.-''' duhz. isnt it the same. she jus dont get the point!!!!!! dont bully ANY of them laaa :( fight for puppy equality! :( poor puppy.

as usual xinxin n binbin was so super cute :) and it was xinxin's bday today. hee. they had SO MANY presents. haha so xingfu loh. nowadays kids hor... good life!

tml is daddy's bday. its gonna be another happy day :) i love my friends. im a happy girl.

:) i decided to be happy. and so im feeling very happy today :)

2008-09-20T14:00:00.009+08:00

feeling so super free today. so i shall blog! hmmm the coming week is term break alr. bt act im feelin super sian. its supp to be a BREAK leh. i still have lesson on fri summore.. more sian cos someone is busy till wed.. but nvm cos im very independant =)

mama changed my line to singtel without telling me on thurs. i was alr super upset without this stupid thing happening. i just wanted to sms sy sth but it cldnt send thru. den i realised my line was cut. omg. exploded. after tt me and dada went to kbox at midnight! =) made me feel much happier. haha. yayyy. =) after kbox, i was hungry, so we finally decided to cook. clever me cooked pancakes and scrambled eggs for my dear.

it was nice rite! =) say yes. haha. by default the ans is yes. dun care. =)

yest evening i went to meet the st nicks pp at ps. haha. oops =P i tink i was 2 hours late? =P we went to have dinner den catch up abit. nothing much. but jus suddenly realised that some pp have been missing for super long =( got so busy or not....... mean pigs. and we forgot to tk photos. =( jac ur prediction is true laa. but nvm =) u dun organise i organise ok! hahaha. wun be that bad de.. trust me! hahaha. ok i noe u dont. not convincing.

haii. i've been thinking. shd i have a bday party????? i cant decide =(

im feeling so super moody that if she's gg to continue to niam me, im gonna cry.

i dont know if u truly understand y i've been so moody thru this entire week. its been 5 mths. bt i almost dont rmb any instance we spent a day out tgt without u having training or me having to rush home. i dont know if u feel so, bt times spent in hall is jus different frm gaigai-ing. even so, its ok cos i noe u cant help it.

i stupidly tot its finally term break, u'd be more free and we can have a day to play. bt i guess not. i reli felt dam stupid when u said u haf training camp. it shd haf occured to me u'd haf more more more trainings since cheer alwx take up most of ur time. term break wldnt be an exception. thou u alwx tell me u nv put cheer b4 me, i duno if u realised, no matter what, its alwx ur top priority. unless sth drastic happens.

i alwx say u dun teng me. its nt tt i cant feel the sweet things u do. its cos sometimes i reli feel tt it requires alt of effort for me to b more understanding n all. even thou u've bin in cheer for so long n i've alr gotten used to it, i still cant help feeling affected by it. i kp feeling sad, even thou i try my best not to. tts y i kp whining and complaining. its not tt im unreasonable laaa =( i dont mean it, bt i jus say it cos i wan u sayang me oni.

its a reli unsettled feeling to wait for ur sms after trainings on sat. cos i duno if we're gg out, or wld u b too tired. im alwx worried tt we're gg out cos ure scared i'll get angry if we dun and not bcos u wanna spend some time w me. yet its the only time in the wk tt we get to go gai gai =(

u said u nv doubted we wld last. of cos i want us to last. bt sometimes for a moment i jus doubt if im strong enuf. yet when i calm down to think abt it, its been 5 mths. i just cant help loving u more each day. i am super demanding spoilt and unreasonable one. i demand demand demand for many many many more months and years with my darling.

2008-09-13T18:14:00.004+08:00

=) smile. its good to smile. it makes u think u feel happy. oh. and play pet society. its good to play such stupid games sometimes. it helps to make u happier!

i wish i can control hw consequences of my decisions affect the pp ard me. since it was my own choice/mistake, i shd bear all the consequences. it shdnt be fair for someone else to be put on a spot because of sth i did. a big mouth said some things to someone else. the facts are right, but some things can be left unsaid. now i have no idea whats going to happen. i hope it wont cause alot of trouble.

im scared u may have to ans alot alot of super awkward qns. sorry for putting u on a spot.

2008-09-11T01:39:00.006+08:00

im sick of sad posts. i tink im pms-ing. =( tired.

why should i be what i am not. i dont want it anymore.

2008-09-07T15:43:00.004+08:00

v upset. i din wanna ever ever ever be reminded of stupid things. i alr knew the sucky conclusion back then, accepted it and chucked them away. so idiotic to be reminded of it.

the worst part is i only knew the outcome then and now im suddenly filled in with details tt i dont even wanna noe. sucks big time. and to be affected by it sucks even more.

grrrr. i tink im menopausing. so many angry upset and frustrated posts recently.

oh.. went for jiejie's convo photoshoot jus now. the photos were actually nice. and jiejie is super photogenic. but the entire photo choosing n all that was qt screwed up. shall post the photos another time.

2008-09-07T03:27:00.003+08:00

veryveryveryvery irritated. roarrrrr. super inefficient!

im tired and sleepy. and i will have eye bags tml and super small eyes and alot of pimples that will pop out due to lack of sleep!

how to take nice photos!

ROAR.

2008-09-02T04:55:00.002+08:00

im dam pissed. i CANNOT get to slp. feeling very irritated! roar!

i am so sick of everything.

2008-09-01T22:07:00.033+08:00

=) hall 8's dnd is finally overrr! whee. it wasnt perfect, but stillll, many many pp still put in so much effort to make it successfull! thanks to those main commers who spent so much of their precious timeee! and the 10 contestants looked good that day. so happy that everything went well for them! =)

anw the theme was shanghai night. and i guess i was one of the few girls who were super off in non-cheena outfits. haha. almost everyoneeee wore cheongsams! i so super regretted not buying one for myself. =( sighh. oh wells. i really didnt didnt didnt have time! =(((

anwww =) just afew pics i saved frm facebook cos i didnt bring a camera! =) the evening was spent walking here and there almost all the time! no time to tk photos =( heee. but im so happy its all over. and it was ok =) yeahh

dnd main com 07/08 =))

my fellow co-chair =)

the lao-pageant girls. =P

all of the lao-pageant peeps =) love them!

warm warm hug! =)

i cant stand myself. weak. when i read the stupid sms jus wanna cry. jus v touched n relieved. another super random thing, some1 said sth to me jokingly, yet i sensed a camouflaged serious tone. super ironic. cos it was true.

2008-08-29T03:21:00.004+08:00

i dun really know what to say but im feeling dam sad. =( the poor poor poor thing.

it was so amazing that i found a kitten cute =(

but laughing and smiling is the best way to camouflage fear and sadness.

2008-08-28T01:46:00.000+08:00

sth is dam dam dam wrong. =( shit.

2008-08-27T18:41:00.022+08:00

=) last wkn went to et's bday chalet. stayed over on friday den went to kbox the nxt morning *thx to et for the treat =PpP* then was the party in the evening! =) post some pics frm pui! et.. send me photos aso leii.. =)

with daisy and vil b4 they left!

with the bday girl, eeyore and piglet!

us with jiaming! =)

random pics!

sunday was mama's 50th bday! =) this yr didnt reli have time to celebrate b4 hand so ended up just cooking food to bring to ahma's house for tea. haha. yummy! den when we got home, mama cute her super pretty looking bday cake!

=) happy bday mamama!

=) us in super cute strawberry visors! my boyboy super cute la. like so gay lidat =PpP

2008-08-25T23:35:00.001+08:00

really feel like screaming at some pp. dam pissed.

i realised i have nothing to wear for dnd! crap. haha. im starting to get worried! =( and i have no time to go n buy at all =(((

2008-08-22T18:46:00.008+08:00

i just wanna hug you. for a little while longer.

my silly boyboy haven even reli recover den nw got a super bad orh ba kat on his eye + cut at the edge of his mouth + sprained ankle. =( stop bullying my darling =( evil people go away!

=( its slightly over 1 wk to dnd. im feeling quite unprepared to be honest. so many loose ends to be settled. so many things that have to be done. im feeling quite overwhelmed. i dont wanna miss out any single thing or leave anything unsettled. hope everything will turn out ok. =) actually it has still been fun and i guess it will reli be quite fun on dnd itself.

havent been down for every single training but somehow i reli feel very happy when i see how the contestants are improving so much! =) and i love their dance. its so so so so so unfair. why did we have such an ugly and idiotic dance for our yr? =( so jealous =P

but anwww =) all the best to all of them la! all looking good =) haha. visit the dnd blog @ http://hall8dnd0708.blogspot.com.
i may sound ridiculous and totally nonsensical, but what if one day someone comes along and takes you away? =( to be perfectly honest, im almost alwx feeling so insecure and uneasy. i shd noe u better than to be affected by such things. but i just cant help it.

2008-08-18T00:20:00.012+08:00

i feel like screaming.

i have so many freaking things to do. and im freaking tired. its not helping that my room is in a freaking big mess. im dam tired and irritated. go away.

when i dont reply you, you get worried. den didnt it occur to you that i will get worried too? maybe you prefer me not to bother. i feel dam freaking stupid. i spend e entire day feeling so unsettled and worried. i aso duno for wad. i already expected your phone flat. i dun even know why the hell i was so worried for. so freaking dumb. its not ur fault that ur phone went flat. i know. but i didnt choose to be so affected either. i wish i could assume ure alrite and stop worrying. i hate this feeling, and i dont wanna worry like an idiot for nothing anymore.

2008-08-17T01:13:00.031+08:00

=) met pui in town today! wanted to shun bian watch dada's comp! bt we were late, so could oni help by voting! so super thick skin la. we keep asking for more voting slips. spoil my demure image =P all for my dear lohhhh. see i so sacrificial.. =P the people sure tink we dam er xing want to win the free guess watch loh.. haha.. but maybe we really will win leh!! =P

haha den we proceeded on our shopping trip. =) feel so deprived of shopping. so long nv really buy anything le. but due to budget constraints, must control! hahaha. we spent so much time choosing the nicest accessories from so many diff shops that we got confused and almost couldnt find the shop we initally visited again. so happy! got so many things today! happy. shopping can destresss! had a great day with auntie today!

saw this super amusing accessory. see auntie smile till so can lan..

she ask me act fierce. xin ji zhong lohh. wan look nicer riteeeee. =P

super retarded =P tink we disgusted the other passengers!

pretty auntie! *why do i look so green =(((*

2008-08-15T18:32:00.022+08:00

got my nie electives! e voice studies n production tutor is super cute and funny! =)) the class was so fun! we were told to bring a mat for floor exercise every wk! sounds so fun!! =P and i oni got 2 exams this sem! so slack rite.. hope i can do better this sem.. =)

my baby is sick. i spread to him lohhh. sighh. he took super gd care of me the past few days, i still so mean spread to him.. nw his throat is just as bad as mine =(( which was badddd. i rather he nv tk care of me. =(( dada so busy, tiring trainings, last min competition, left so lil time to rest =(

silly darling.. i will tk care of you k.. nurse u back to health.. *thou u seem to b doing a better job than me =((* sorry last night u not well i nv pei u..

me and my cutest darling. get well soon!

how much is too much and how little is too little? sometimes even though you're trying your best and doing the most you can, it may just not be enough. who then is the unreasonable one? neither actually, because its really just a difference in mindset.

2008-08-11T13:29:00.018+08:00

feeling dam sick and tired. gg crazy already. just wanna screammmm!

and i feel super dumb. i realised i forgot ALL my basic maths already.

so many things kp bugging me. not that i emo v easily. its cos everything is just there. all the time. sometimes, i forget momentarily. but its still there. more and more easily. more and more often.

2008-08-10T03:20:00.006+08:00

=) yest was supposed to go shopping but it was so sickening to carry a bag with a heavy lappie in it so went to catch the mummy 3 instead. it was not bad.. but not exactly very fantastic aso. hee i found the part where the skeletons fought the revived army qt amusing.. =)

wheee! its national day today!

=) watched money no enough 2 with my boyboy. i din reli find it fantastic. it was qt like his other movies, very real, with some v anti sg govt stuff and also very predictable. but the ending was kinda sad. and it actually made me think abit.

the ending part about being poor is really v true. a person is not the poorest when he is penniless, but when noone loves or cares anymore. money reli isnt everything. there're so many things money jus cant buy..happiness or true love.. tons of money without anyone to share them with is act reli meaningless..

and the way vivian lai sacrificed for her husband was qt touching laa, thou it was qt silly.. just feel more often than not, giving without expecting any return usually gets taken forgranted. so at least he appreciated what she did for him..

and the mama. she was so so so pitiful =( made me feel so sad. the disappointment in sudden realisation of how much a burden she was, tt dying seemed be a happy thing rather than sad.. tt all she did for them, every sacrifice and every amount of hardwork was all for nothing.

=( sad.

2008-08-06T19:38:00.005+08:00

had my first lesson of the sem today. was superrrr boring. the lecturer was like some fly buzzing in the background. cant even hear what he's saying. heng its only 2 hrs lec for today! after lec went to eat w sebas and jojo. haha. had a short and entertaining gossip session. =) feel like superrr long nv chat lerr.

mama and daddy went to australia this morning. hmm. its actually the first time they're away. it just feel abit weird. its not a matter of being independant. just not really used to it.

just a feeling that things are changing.

2008-08-05T21:42:00.011+08:00

feels like i never even had a holiday and its a new semester again. the second last before graduating. feeling so sian. just better buck up and study hard this semester!

happy manniversary dear. =)

i jus wanna b happy. jus needa noe u love me. tts all tt shd matter. i dont wanna lose hope so easily anymore.

2008-08-01T03:10:00.004+08:00

just read this link zhuohao sent. v sad but also qt scary. and today's the 1st day of the 7th mth. so got a kinda eerie atmostphere alr.

was thinking of asking my mom to slp with me when i walked to her room and she started SINGING at the top of her voice. at 3am!! my dad jumped up and looked super freaked out too. at least if he not scared, make me feel more secured ma. i see he aso abit scared scared make me more freaked out. den my mom started to stir den stood up to go toilet. den she started LAUGHING. wthh! i tink she found it v amusing tt we were so freaked out. but reli v v v v v scary. can you imagine. someone who was singing in her slp wake up and start laughing.. cuckoo..

haha. im too scared to slp now.

2008-07-27T23:28:00.001+08:00

im feeling so pissed that im gonna kill the next person who irritates me.

2008-07-27T01:12:00.027+08:00

yesterday was jiejie's convo! =) waaaa jiejie is now a qualified engineer! even if is sub standard one.. =P bot the grad bear and flowers for jiejie. and she made a plaque too! wheeee. den we went ard taking photos. and finally we went to grand copthrone for buffet dinner! such a good day. =) i actually appreciate this quality time with my family. its not very often we get to enjoy a day out together, with the mood and atmosphere kept so pleasant and high. =) daddy mama and meimei is proud of jiejie!

star of the day and her cute grad bear!

spot my dear sister *she's posing with the V sign!*

i love this photo! haha. super impromptu la =P

all the best sister. hahaha. find a good job with a good pay! den u can start yang-ing me.. =P just kidding.. =) good luck with finding ur best fit job!

=) i shifted into my new room in 41 le. thanks to someone who had to climb up and down a few thousand times. xiexie ni ok? =) heee.

it is v sweet to be able to be there for ur frens. if this care will make their day, why not? bt surely there are some special people you'd wanna protect and be there for, above the rest. wouldn't it be ironic if you were there for everyone else, but failed to realise when you were needed the most?

sometimes i just fall into a very moodless state out of the blue. just blank. its not tt im unhappy. in fact im qt contented. n i appreciate all tt i alr have. reli. just tt there are certain things i just cant ignore. i wanna stop being bothered. i wanna be happier.