simplicity`

29 August 2007

im reli disappointed. i duno who im more disappointed in. myself or the others.

its not my fault that wad i was asked to do was just crap shit. even so, it reli doesnt mean i didnt try.

and it coming from you was the most hurting.

living in wonderland` 17:17

28 August 2007

today after lesson, me ching sally sy lampy aikhong vincent aud went to que for the university pageant goodie bag. they said its a nivea goodie bag with lots of other stuff. but too bad they only allow pp to tk the goodie bag if we stay throughout the whole pageant. so wells. had to give it a miss.

den we proceeded to the jcrc subcom appreciation dinner. haha. was quite surprised that quite little people came. hmm had some games n stuff but the best part of it was probably the steamboat! =D yummy! haha. on a cold day like today, steamboat is the most fulfilling! =P

im so overwhelmed with homework. have 4 weeks of tutorial to catch up on, two presentations coming up and a quiz next week. im freaking out man. i seriously better start turning on my engines. every sem is getting from bad to worse. but i better buck up. someone please force me to study. argh!

sighh. anw i've been thinking alot recently. i duno how to express my thoughts or exactly state what im thinking. its jus that im coming 20 this yr. im supposed to be able to take the responsibilities of any choice or decision i make. yet thats precisely why im feeling so afraid. so uncertain. because im just not sure if i can take the consequences behind my actions.

maybe im still behaving like a kid. maybe im just being too stubborn. maybe im just thinking far too much.

living in wonderland` 22:50

26 August 2007

=) yest was hall 8's dnd. its finally over. this yr is a very different experience from last year. while both years i din enjoy the luxury of sitting down in the audience and watching the performance, its reli a different type of feeling altogether.

last yr was peppered with butterflies in my stomach, uncertainty, fear and all. this year was more of wanting the best for the contestants. my expectations of what we can give them is reli high, cos i reli hope all of us can work to give them the best n most memorable dnd. =) it was reli very extremely heartwarming to see them do so well on stage. so proud of all of them. seriously.
and a job well done by huifang, peishi and derek! =) k clan clinched the hall queen, mr and miss chocoboard, mr personality and ms photogenic. wowww. =) good job man! but not just them la. huiling was gorgeous yest. =) so diff frm herself!! the results may have been out already and not everyone got something but wells! everyone still did reli well! =D

as for the main commers. i reli reli reli reli tink it was a super good job by everyone. but particularly, i felt that eldine, sean n yusiang did a very good job in overseeing the entire thing. i seriously wanted to help but sumtimes i reli duno what to help with. afterall, im not incharge of certain things and i reli duno what the details are like. something like 心有余而力不足。i tried my best to do anithing that i felt needed help with. but im not sure if i did help at all. maybe people saw it as 越帮越忙。i hope not!

ohh and anw i quite like my makeup yest. not VERY nice. but well. it was nicer than the super freaking ugly one last yr. but eeyere. i wore the stupid last resort dress and i felt dam FAT the entireee nite loh! =( so sadd. im determined! i wanna lose weight! hahahaha. i say ALOT of times liao. but this time im RELI determined. i should go jogging le.

anwww. after last nite, i was wondering again. i reli only feel attached to dnd com. yet i heard so many pp wanna run nxt yr. should i run for co-chair next year? in the first place, did i do enuf? haha. i reli duno. i tried my best to help la. but i RELI din have much to do. liase with who. liase about what? only venue settle den nothing le. hai.im confused!

something else has been bothering me. i reli just cant just ignore it or anything. its starting to infiltrate. sigh. can someone tell me what to do?

=) anw.. these are one of the few few few pathetic pictures i took at hall 8's dnd =) quite like it! at least i dun look as cui as last yr.. (in terms of make up i mean)

living in wonderland` 22:37

23 August 2007

=) today is yihting's bday. dun have time to organise bday party for her so we all decided to combine it w pokky's bday. haha. but stillll, wishing dearest ET a happy bday!

hmm. this fri is mama's bday. reli feel so bad. have been going down to join the pageant peeps for practise. didnt call her for many days le. and i haven even bought a card or present. but anw. i just wanna say tt i love my mummy! haha. i better get a present on fri!

=) anw. its just 2 more days to dnd le. all the contestants must reli jiayoU! hope they are the best they can be on sat!

living in wonderland` 02:26

20 August 2007

theres something wrong. i no longer can smile like before. too many overwhelming thoughts. i cant seem to handle it.

the sorrow hidden beneath each silent smile
that pierces through each passing second.

i just want to turn time back. return to the times. everyone was young, innocent and naive. the world was just a beautiful place. life was made up of sugar, icing and all sweet things.

please bring me back to those times.

living in wonderland` 22:47

18 August 2007

=( its a suay day today. 2 falls and 2 lizards can spoil my entire day! haha. ok. nvm. fine.

today after eating breakfast with darling, went to meet ching for subway. haha. after tt went to chijmes for dnd rehearsal at the upper club. yay! =D its sucha nice place! love it. haha. anw den after the rehearsal, went to w pageant pp to suntec to eat fish and co. haha. long time since we all went out tgt le. haha.

anw. i jus was wondering abt some things. reli. theres more than meets the eye. some things are jus skin deep. to people who look from the outside, things may just not be like what it actually is. its a difference in perception. or maybe its just that they dun see it that same way.

living in wonderland` 22:46

16 August 2007

maybe i seriously cant take stress. its jus the second week. and this minor presentation is driving me nutes. im freaking tired man. wtf. i haven even started preparing for my presentation tmr morning yet. and its like 12.40. yet im having a severe mental block. cant even freaking rite a sentence properly. ARGHHHHH.

anw. im reli tinking. shd i run for dnd next yr? hahahaha. WILL THEY WAN ME!?!?! so crap la this yr. i practically have nothing to do aso. sighh. im thinking of either fin sec or co-chair. i reli duno lar. what if i no hall to stay next yr? =(

two words to describe my feelings now: i regret.

living in wonderland` 00:40

14 August 2007

I CURSE ALL THE CATS IN THE WORLD! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

omg. i was happily chatting with dawn with the door SLIGHTLY open when we heard *meowwww* afew times. we tot it was outside the door. wanted to faster close the door. den dawn was like.. "GUEN its in ur room" den i was like.. "reli meh.. where gt so brave come in?? cannot be lar." den i half dun blif den i went to see around. i still scared ma. so i stood on my bed when i freaking heard the *MEOWWWW* from under me lar! i screamed like noone's business and jump jump jump jump jump on my bed! den the freaking cat still stroll around! IDIOT LOH. SHIT THE CAT MAN. den i bth i scream so loud den it ran out.

OH MY GOD. i tink i got phobia liao. from now on, my door is gonna be CLOSED. never open it for longer than 5 seconds. haha next time anione hate me alot can just catch a cat into my room. i'll from then on quit hall. never ever will i stay in hall ever again.

AHHHH. sighh. howhowhow. how to get rid of this catty problem! =( i hate cats. i seriously hate cats. go awayYyyyY!!!!

living in wonderland` 02:08

13 August 2007

i jus realised today is the 1st day of the 7th month! =( scary leh. my most "loved" month of the year. sighh. den earli in the morning i accidentally stepped on some candle wax along the road. =( scary. ltr i offend them!

after 228a, coming bak hall that time, me and lx talked about some stuff. made me start tinking. nothing to do with what he said, but i guess guys and girls reli have quite different mindsets when it comes to r/s. ultimately i realised its all reli very 现实 one. if a guy still has feelings for a girl, he would do all he can to salvage the relationship. but when he is feeling half hearted, he may just humour the girl cos he duno hw to turn her down. but isnt that jus giving false hope? haha. im in no position to judge anithing lar anw. jus started thinking. BUT nothing to do with me lar. just triggered tots only. haha.

=( darling has high blood pressure! its RELI high. 156 leh. summore army must exercise all that. high bp cannot exercise! hope u gets well soon da! (else i cant bully you, u cant pei me shoppp and eat!!! =P) so for now ... no seafood, no salty or oily food, no red meat, no soups. haha. too bad darling. who call u high bp? =P but ilu* nevertheless! and sometimes i reli feel so bad. darling! thanks for alwx making the extra effort! reli appreciated! =D thanks for coming so late on sat and sun just to pei me! =D

im starting to feel very tired. evn thou the sem jus started. i have no strength to start going. i duno why. but i feel so empty. so superficial. so shallow. everything feels so unrealistic. but i hope that this feeling will go away. cos i reli cant afford to start feeling this tired from the start. maybe its too much time spent with darling these few days. the fear of losing reli crawls in. darling pampered me so much that im so scared of losing. i hate that he has to go back to camp. i wish everyday was like the past two days spent. simple yet so 幸福。

living in wonderland` 21:31

10 August 2007

=) i found the first week of school generally rather enjoyable =P probably due to the fact that i skipped almost all my lessons? heee =)

i have decided! i want to lose 5 kg this sem. hahahaha. i try la. TRY.

tues went w the pageant juniors for the num fitting and their dance practice. WOW. they're like dancing salsa la. haha. so li hai. as compared to our.... retro?? haha. they're much more pro. ohh. tt day i heard them talking abt our last yr's actual pageant video. i haven seen it b4! i wanna see! haha. someone send me send me! but so sad. we're like.... one year late? looking at the jnrs made me reminise. our dnd was one year back =) time flies, but memories remain.

yest went out with darling to suntec marina shoppp. but the cough drop made me so drowsy that i almost cldnt shop. haha. according to darling is like "so tired but still MUST shopp. cannot dun shop MUST shop". haha. say until like i self torture lidat! haha. den after tt went to stamford hotel to watch ndp fireworks. i tried to capture afew photos with my hp. but oni 2 turned out ok =((

living in wonderland` 10:18

06 August 2007

thats the hall 8 dnd main com video. aiyooo. i reli got nth to say abt myself. i alwx so out of the situation one. i duno if im dreaming or sleeping or wad. every1 look at the camera oni i there stoning. haha =P den intro tt day aso every1 bow i aso nv bow. alamak. wake upppp!

was gossiping with liz just now and heard a little bit of interesting things. =) whahaha. im reli not so kpo. but cant resist the temptation of hearing all the exciting stories!

anw i was self isolating today cos din feel comfy enuf to go squeeze ard during hall bash. i seriously cant stop coughing. once i start i cant stop. so kwa zhang. cough cough cough till hyperventilate aso can! so i jus gotta skip supper as well.. sighh..

ahh im super duper tired. feel like sleeping but i got a idiotic ab214 shit long assignment to complete by tml. wth!!!!! i tink they forgot. today is jus the first day of school! let us rest rest and take it slowww ma! crazy people.

living in wonderland` 21:38

05 August 2007

=) FOC jus ended last nite. KHYDRA ROCKS MAN!!! =D the juniors are so super li hai and we got best clan! i guess they reli deserved it. no doubt they took many days to warm up, but starting from the 4th day suddenly all of them became so high! yay!! the juniors piah-ed so hard and they finished the amazing race and finale in first placing!!

many little things didnt turn out right and some small issues did dampen spirits. it jus helped me understand that when things screw up, everyone tends to be afraid of taking responsibility. and then, everyone starts pointing fingers. is it reli that difficult to admit mistakes? i reli wonder.

but in the end, everything was settled in the "best possible way" and i hope not much harm is done. the final result that xae'don and khydra tied for the finale, i tink it was very reasonable. and it was also thru this 小插曲 that i reli saw who are those that i can trust. but im reli very thankful to those people who cared. in such circumstances, those encouragement from people reli meant so much.. so thanks! =D

anw its over =) im glad its over too.

living in wonderland` 18:33