i really try my best to be positive. but my energy is daring faster than I can recharge. just read my post below, I was excited, positive about this job. but what now? I really don't know. it's not exactly helping when im tired, sick, feverish, piled with work, stuck with issues that are beyond me. I can change processes if it merely affects me. but sometimes it's the mental burden of how the words I say, the things I do directly affect my colleagues.

maybe I bother too much. so what if I'm piled with work? so what if I'm gonna get scolded? why should I care? I did my best anyway. but best just doesn't seem to suffice.

I need to continue to be positive. I want to like working so I will be happy. more and more leave, and I really start to doubt. maybe we just haven't found the value within.

living in wonderland` 20:25

i am super excited about my new job! its offering me fewer working hours (in fact probably finally a fixed office job) and higher pay! no more long, unpredictable working hours with never ending work to be done. the most kwa zhang evidence that im overworked was that i was chatting with my baby on saturday when i kinda dozed off, and starting telling him MY TRADE CREDITORS CANNOT TIE. haha. exactly the issue i was working on for the past 2 weeks, cos my creditors dont tie to holding company figures!
 
i have been working so hard, that i couldnt help but go for shopping therapy with my bong on saturday night! yes, it was AFTER i ended work at 7pm. -.-

i am so superrr ADORE the new uKimono Mini that i bought over the weekend.













since i already secured myself a new job at the Accountant-General Department, meaning im free from the evil clutches of EY, i decided to get the RED uKimoni Mini! it may not be useful, but its SUPER pretty!

living in wonderland` 13:28

:) i have good news! i found a new job, and im retiring from audit and saying bye to the hectic hours! :) it was amazing how things were so smooth sailing! :)i ought to thank my baby for helping me to look out for jobs when i was undergoing the darkest and most draining period of my life.

its in time like this, that i really get to see how evil and disgusting some people can be.

i joined EY on 28 Sep 09 and was due for confirmation 6 months later, on 28 Mar 2010. My confirmation letter was processed, but it never reached me, as the unimportant letter was sitting in the in-tray of my busy counselor.

Yesterday, i submitted my resignation letter, with 2 weeks notice to the company. Unfortunately, my letter was REJECTED. the basis of rejection: you were already confirmed on your position with effect from 28 Mar 2010, when the letter was processed by the HR.

My instinctive reaction: I was not given the confirmation letter, i was NOT INFORMED of my confirmation, i am therefore still entitled to my two weeks notice.

But the company refused, and told me, i was to serve a month's notice, with no exceptions.

THE MISTAKE LIES WITH EY. THE MANAGER IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT EY IN INFORMING ME.

Not being informed, i have the right to insist to go in two weeks. i can report EY to MOM. but i wont. why? because i dont wanna make enemies before i leave. but tell me, is their insistence of me serving a month's notice fair?

and i was even told, we can try to push for early release from 1 month's notice, on the basis that you have personal reasons. HELLO. early release? it is my ENTITLEMENT.

what a world class, professional and reputable firm. playing such underhand tricks. in my personal opinion, the company is making use of their strong foothold in the society to back them up in continually showing such inappropriate conduct.

thinking back, i must have been crazy to think EY was a rather good firm.

living in wonderland` 15:34

:) sat was hall 8's dnd, night of villians. have to say that its the night where most people really dressed up drastically for the theme :) quite interesting. there were terrorists, kungfu masters, pirates, witches, cleopatria, medusa, etcetc :D interesting eh? :)

this year is probably the last time we're going back as seniors and i guess it will be the last time we probably will be meeting up with many other people we saw that night :) it may just be me, but i feel that during mass gathering event like that, i tend to feel rather nostalgic. i think about what happened throughout the days we stayed in hall. all the fun times. and then think about how long it has been since even me ching sally sy met up tgt. it just shows its gonna get more and more difficult. and thats just the way life goes. where people get more busy with every new stage of life, and old friends tend to find it harder to meetup.

took many photos that night, yet i missed out taking photos with some people that i actually wanted to! haha. but it was still nice to meet up with everyone :)

bong & me :)


lao lao lao pageant people :D

living in wonderland` 15:28

my right eye is enjoying perfect vision now :) its so magical! regardless of what the nurses say about me not being able to be functional with one eye at 900 deg and the other at perfect eyesight, i have been doing very well, no problems at all. maybe its only for people like me, with such high myopia, that really appreciate the change so much that nothing else matters :) went for my third post lasik checkup and my right eye sees two rows below perfect!

yesterday, my baby and i went for dinner at ma maison. very delicious food, a little pricey but still, it was so yummy :) baby had smoked fish while i had garlic bread & soup :) and baby ordered baked potatoes with mayo and prawns cos i wanted to eat potato! :)

so sweet, and guess what, baby surprised me with a bouquet of flowers :) it may sound so silly to everyone, but it meant so much to me. cos my baby said that on 09/09/09, giving me 09 roses is a very good omen! :) hee. so sweet.

thank you baby, and i still lost my temper. i am sorry :( but i still love our day yesterday! :) *muacks*

living in wonderland` 12:57

the mom has just launched her PRE LASIK EXTREME PARANOIA SYNDROME.

mom: what do you need to prepare for tomorrow?
me: got things to prepare meh?
mom: errrr. they gave you a whole stack of notes to read. didnt you read?
me: yarrr. its all info on the operation la. wad is there to prepare????
mom: breakfast?
me: oh. i dont wanna eat, why must i eat, later i scared den i puke how.
mom: (screams) you always dont like to take care oYOU ALWAYS DONT LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH. THIS IS SUCH A BIG THING AND YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO EAT? DIDNT YOU READ THE BOOKLET? THEY SAID YOU NEED BREAKFAST IF NOT YOU CANT DO.

so being dam irritated, i took out the instruction paper from my wallet.

me: it reads that you CAN and MAY have breakfast if you WISH to. and i DONT wish to.
mom: i called them, they said you must. if you never read properly, dont blame others. they know better than you.
me: den tell them they printed wrongly. ask them to stop giving others wrong info.

dont always focus on so small insignificant things. what about the fact tt if i dont fixate my eye, i'd get half blind? or the fact that my allergy resurfaced again? or that i may have rubbed my eyes such that the cornea shaping is affected? or the fact that i cant suit soft lense and have to go around depending on one eye which will deteriote its myopia?

wake up your idea. i have more important things to be worried about. than breakfast.

living in wonderland` 18:43

haha. can you believe it? i cant believe it :) was a very last minute decision, considering how bad my eye allergy always becomes with contacts, considering the lifetime reliance i would have on the eyedrops whcih cost $25 monthsly, i decided to enquire about lasik two weeks ago. :) was asked to stay off my contacts for 2 weeks which was totally torturing. dont even remind me how ugly i look with my specs on. zzzzzzzz.

but it all paid off! :) i went for the suitability check yesterday and everything was good :) im suitable! so happy that i dont know how to explain it! :D although yesterday's tests and eyedrops made me lao hao yan now, i still am super happy that it doesnt seem to affect me :D haha. erm. ya, i cant see anything closer than 30cm because its all blurrrrrr.

seems too good to be true! my blind as a bat days, the eye allergies, the waking up in the morning and not being able to see a single thing days :D its gonna be over! :D

the bad news is, i am so freaking god dam broke. because my eyes are really so freaking important, and its so so allery prone, i decided to not even consider lasik at NUH or anywhere else, but chose my familiar eye doctor, who charges $6k for both eyes. but im hoping that everything goes smoothly, and the amount spent is worth it :D

wish me luck! :)

living in wonderland` 11:17

♥ happy 16th baby ong ♥

received a super sweet surprise today! :) supposed to help ys at fright night, but he din reply me and i dinnoe where/when to go, i decided not to go. ard 7pm, baby suddenly appeared at my door! he cabbed down after work to surprise me! :) and i was presented with a mini hamper! :) guess what was inside? :)



tadaaaa! :D


apollo strawberry biscuits
kitkat fingers
kinder bueno
oreo cookies
strepsils
a full box of "i♥u" candies
torch light
tiger balm
wet facial wipes
and my 16th present, a pretty pair of earrings! :D

:D very simple stuff, but it was all i needed if i stayed through fright night. and baby knows how much i like these type of accessories yet never ever buy them cos they are too pricey. so he went to the shop i once showed him and bot me this cute pair of earrings!




just when i thought nothing could be sweeter, another surprise came along! :D

i was searching high and low for sth when i discovered a secret hidden present! :) it was meant to be discovered on at 12am, as part 2 of my surprise :D but oops, i discovered the secret early! another of my fav! a super pretty bracelet with very adorable charms :D



thank you bong. appreciate it so much. especially that you just started work, and have not really adjusted to your new lifestyle. :) thank you for still being my bong :) thank you for being my pillar of support no matter how busy you are :)

living in wonderland` 01:33

recently, i realised something very important.

it does not matter how much you can do.
neither does it matter how much you are willing to do.
to learn, help, or care.
what matters most,
is your ability to act.

some people like to act dumb or weak.
"i dont know. i really dont"
and watch as some idiots willingly do every darn thing for that person as if he/she was handicapped/retarded.

some others love to act as if every dam thing you do is all for others' wellbeing.
OH YES. every bit you do, is a sacrifice for the good of others.
please dont act like you're mother theresa unless you genuinely have that attitude and heart.
its an insult to truly kind people.
but still. these people infiltrate our lives.
even if their sole aim was just to benefit THEMSELVES,
they make it sound like it was all for other's good.
WOW. HOW COOL.
now everyone thinks you're an angel.

lastly, learn to say things EARLY. the first mover advantage.
as long as you tell someone something is wrong, and ask the person to do it,
you SOUND like you have foresight and can see things before others.
even if while you were acting boss,
others were already evaluating the situation and finding the best solution.
it doesnt matter. what matters is,
be the first person who says "SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE. DO IT"
then you are the boss.

i hate these type of people. yet too bad. this is the real world.

living in wonderland` 22:56

woah. have been in a foul mood today and yet my firefox REFUSES to allow me to blog. i cant even blog to vent my frustrations. haha. but clever me tried using internet explorer. and it works! i realise that firefox is getting lousier.

anws. today darling went to primary one. haha. ok. it was his first day of work. i dont actually remember myself being so mentally weak. walao. just freaking bad mood. even start falling sick out of no where. i think im crazy.

its this feeling of being a burden. while he works, im sleeping, when im awake, im all energetic, i have lots of things to tell him, yet he may be too tired for those knitty gritty things after a day of work. its just the first day. i guess im totally not used to it. i just feel so good for nothing. it actually reminds me of the PA period. the last week when i was still working, and darling went to thailand for his cheer training. it just felt so empty. no matter how fulfilling my day was, i could just sit and cry. haha. i think i got malfunctional tear ducts.

i dont rmb crying so much for such a stupid matter before. i think everyone around me should be happier! qt a few of my friends are having random r/s problems and issues. so we're kinda just sharing our problems, in the process injecting the emo-ness into each other. haha. we must be stronger! :) lets all be happier! :)

i actually have so many things i want to do before i start working too. really. but i just dont have the mood to start. wells. i dont even have the mood to continue with my blogshop. zzzz. 1 week back, i was eager to take photos for the collection, yet now half is done, and i dont even have the mood to arrange the collages and all.

whats wrong. i want to snap out of this now.

anws, i was surfing youtube, and i chanced upon michelle phan's makeup and beauty videos. go check out her different looks for different occasions. actually i honestly dont find her pretty at all, yet after making up, she can look gorgeous in some of her videos. i quite like her eye makeup looks and i find her very detailed in her narrations. haha. suitable for people like me who knows nuts about makeup :) she has her own skincare product line and she's only 21. omgomg. i think she studied art in university in us and is working on her own men and women fashion line. she's super cool rite. haha.

living in wonderland` 23:06

i have been having many many outings with my baby, doing simple random stuff recently. and i really cant explain how fulfilling it is. just so contented :) i wanna spend more time with my little baby before he starts work :((((

some outdated photos from darling sister's malaysia side wedding. :) a mini holidate for me n bong :)

we went to the discovery center to see if we could discover some new things :P but apparently there wasnt much there except for the 4D rides, went for happy shopping spree during the sales, buying some stuff from club marc :P, had dimsum brunch @ hotel royal for dear's fathers day celebration, we went to marina barrage for kite flying and picnic, went on with our shopping sprees in silly pursuit of club marc to the central where it was quite disappointing, my family's fathers day celebration kbox buffet at marina square which was really a very different and heartwarming experience, cycling day followed by super shuang kbox sessions where we singed our lungs out (literally) cos it was so empty that we were allowed to stay beyond the timings, my crazy craving for hotdog rolls and my baby sweetly tried to fulfill, our random supper cooking sessions, stay home days where we just rotted the entire day. i enjoyed every one of it :)

its really these small things in life, that make me feel so happy and contented. its as if nothing else matters anymore. (on a side note, my memory sucks. i din even list the items in chronological order. cos i cant rmb what happened first. zzz.)

met up with jc peeps last week and guess what? :) im so shocked that grace is getting married! :) hee. we're gonna be her jie mei, meaning it will be the first time we experience such a thing! woah! exciting :) rom is in september and wedding is going to be next year! :) wheee. congrats to this pair of xingfu couple! :)

i love this picture we took at ecp. because the sky is so so so blue. though we both look tired and have messy hair, i love the way its just us and the blue blue sky :)

living in wonderland` 03:04

no matter how much effort i put in, i just cant cover the roles of two individuals. and its draining all my strength.

maybe only when everyone who has always silently been supporting us suddenly leaves us, forcing us to face everything the vast world alone, clearing the shit we left behind all alone. maybe only then, will it be sufficient to make us realise. what we have taken forgranted, and now lost.

maybe now, it is easy to say you dont need anyone there for you. but one day you realise how alone you are, and regret not treasuring.

only situations where you need someone around, will you really see, who are truly your best friends. those that will be there for you, regardless of rain or shine, day or night. and no matter how each and everyone of us may be different in some way or other, you know that when u need them, they will be there.

living in wonderland` 01:37

yesterday i received a letter with a subject "joint orientation programme" from EY. the 1st para introduced the joint orientation between EY spore & msia and gave some brief details.

the second paragraph described that this orientation will start shortly after our training which will commence from the first day of my work. so the first thought that ran through my mind was, WOW, im starting work on 17th august and the orientation is on 5th oct? what a huge lag time.

then how interesting. the next sentence was:
"please note your commencement date will be changed to 28th september 2009"

i was like quite stunned. to me, the point of the whole letter should not be informing me of the joint orientation programme. the title, the first paragraph should have said that main point that the starting date of work is deferred.

kinda trying to camouflage this slightly inappropriate adjustment between the letter huh.

living in wonderland` 14:11